After 20 years in the RAF, and a similar period in civilian management jobs afterwards, I came to the conclusion that leadership stemmed from power. Specifically, 'the ability to lead' stemming from 'power to break the rules'. Let me explain.
Even as a junior RAF officer I had enormous powers to put wrongs to right. If someone had a family problem and had exhausted their annual leave, I could get them compassionate leave. If they couldn't afford to go home? A railway warrant. A relative seriously ill? An aircraft (on one occasion, via a specially tasked Shackleton from Ballykelly to Waddington on a foggy night). Bigger money problems? An advance of pay. And I could (and did, more than once) take over airmen's bank accounts and negotiate with their creditors so that we sorted it all out, much to the relief of their bank managers (I know, don't laugh, it was a long time ago). And I left the youngsters concerned, I hope, with money management skills that no one else was ever going to teach them. And to solve residual problems when an acute family problem had been addressed? The wonderful SSAFA. And so on. On exchange with someone else's air force, I came across a crying airman with similar problems, only to discover that his officer had "looked in air force regulations and unfortunately could do nothing to help." I felt good about the Royal Air Force that day. The word 'Trust' appears on my Commission. She does and did, bless her.
In civilian life, such actions common in our Service would represent gross intrusions into subordinates' private lives! 'Referring them to HR' would be rule in most organisations, and it would be hard to dream up a bigger abrogation of leadership responsibility for 'your' people than that. So, where you can, you do it the RAF way on the quiet, giving time-off, advice, confronting problem people, etc. You are regarded as a bit of an eccentric anyway, because of where you came from, but from those you have quietly helped the respect flows - you can feel it. And the word spreads.
Looking back now from retirement, you realise that joining the Royal Air Force was the best thing you ever did.