The most interesting thing about Civvie street is that so many managers think they are leaders. They read a couple of books, do a few courses and they honestly believe they have cracked it. But when it comes down to it, they can’t really talk to people at all levels. They can tell people to do a job and they can tell them the most efficient way of doing things, but they can’t sniff a problem with an individual and they cannot communicate in a way that natural leaders do. When I compare (most) OC Sqns with some Project Managers (multi pound projects) most PMs fall very short indeed. To be honest, in my opinion, true leadership is a rare quality in Civvie street.
SRENNAPS - I'm of a similar age to you but I'm guessing that I've spent more time in Civvie street (23 years). The problem with most leaders/managers is that they don't have followers and this is their undoing. The ability to communicate to all members of your team is alien to most people because they only see management of the level below themselves and not beyond. The ability to communicate is a skill that many don't understand fully because its not taught as a core value.
A leader is somebody who has followers - nothing more, nothing less.