"Right- e -ho then Mr Assad, lets just review you claim shall we...
You say you were walking out to your vehicle and some sort of Bomb fell on it..."
"Yes"
"And your occupation is listed as.. "manager". Could we have a bit more detail...do you have anyone who may dislike or want to deface your vehicle"
"err possibly"
"What is it you exactly manage"
"A country"
"So you manage a country and could possibly be disliked by others possibly those with sufficient funds to drop bombs from aeroplanes?"
"Yes"
"Im sorry Mr Assad we cant process this claim as we havent an occupation entry labelled "Despotic Dictator"..
"What if I had declared that earlier"
" Your premium on your Toyota would be a bit higher Mr Assad. Funnily enough another of our clients recently tried to claim damages to his Palace in Tripoli on a false premis....claimed his collection of Mercedes Benz were written off in a spontanous building collapse"