Dear Sir,
Whilst your terms do indeed sound attractive, I'm terribly sorry, but there is absolutely no chance of my applying for such a position. I may change my mind if you could also guarantee dashing my hopes and dreams on a regular basis and gradually eroding the stated poor conditions even more so with every year that passes.
I'd also like to see an additional clause in there to state that you will make every effort to put unnecessary strain on my marriage. Diluting my pension terms after 25 years of service would be the clincher.
I look forward to your reply in my JPA inbox, with an interview date I can't hope to make and some form of disciplinary action to come when I can't comply with your impossible request.
Yours etc,
Any Serviceman