Alright, I'll take a crack at this. BTW, I'm an American and not ashamed to be one. I'm going to take a little different tack on this.
I generally agree that the pilot at fault in the collision is most likely Wang Wei. That qualified conclusion (for me) comes from the evidence that's available from the media, particularly the videos of his past aggressive flying on previous intercepts. Whether the man in the video is Wang Wei or not is almost beside the point, because the video demonstrates a pattern of aggressive conduct engaged in by the intercepting Chinese pilots. So from a certain point of view it might even be worse if the pilot in the videos was NOT Wang Wei.
And why on earth an American pilot would "ram" another aircraft while on duty station and risk losing the intelligence package he and his colleagues had collected, risk damaging his aircraft well over a thousand miles from his base, risk the lives of his crew, and risk having to ditch or make an emergency landing on Chinese soil, is quite beyond my comprehension. In the worse case, the EP-3 might have hit the Chinese fighter accidentally, and the US pilot's only fault might have been making a mistake in manuvering.
So let's say for the sake of argument that the "real truth" of who caused the collision never becomes known with a high degree of certainty, since from a "hard facts" perpective that's really where we are now. What then do you make of the conduct of the Chinese, because I think that's really what's at issue here?
I hate to say this, but I'm fairly certain that the US is at all times gathering some degree of intelligence on every nation in the world. I'm sure that information includes military capability, economic capability, political stability, and what political "currents" or "moods" happen to be flowing in any given nation at any given time. I'm also certain that many other nations also engage in this practice to some degree or another. The central purpose for this activity, is that if your nation (like mine) is interested in playing a role in the world as a peacekeeper, then you constantly need information like this on those who might disturb the peace. To me the need for this practice is obvious.
First, it's well known that the Chinese DO NOT like the intelligence flights off their coast. The bottom line is that those flights are legal, whether the Chinese like it or not. They are concerned about Taiwan and don't like the position of the US on the Taiwan matter. To be honest the whole issue of Taiwan is a little too murky for me, so I won't pretend to understand it clearly. It is however my opinion that the Chinese have been trying to intimidate the US into stopping these flights for months. I'm also pretty sure that the flights are collecting information on military and other communications activity related to Taiwan.
Second, the Chinese reaction to the collision speaks volumes, and to me this is really the important issue. I don't think the collision was planned, but I'm convinced the Chinese saw the collision and the emergency landing as an opportunity to put pressure on the US to stop these flights. Their current threats about possible harm to future flights only deepens my conviction of this.
Third, the stated "reason" for holding the aircrew and the aircraft was to conduct an "investigation" into the cause of the collision. Hypocritically at the same time, they made Wang Wei a hero (as Communists or a nation with that background, glorify heros is normally done for political purposes), claimed the US plane rammed Wei's plane, and then demanded an apology from the US for causing the collision. Of course they did all of this while pretending to be conducting an "investigation" into the cause of the accident, as the pretense for holding the plane and crew. Give me a break.
Then when they got the apology (so they thought) they released the crew. Then when it became clear that the "apology" was not in fact an admission of guilt or cause in the collision, the Chinese were beside themselves and just couldn't understand why the US wouldn't accept the blame for the collision. I mean, how do we know the collision was our fault?
I personally think the whole affair has been an attempt by the Chinese to create an international incident so "embarrassing" to the US, that the US would be forced to stop the intelligence flights off the Chinese coast. But in reality, I think it's backfired on the Chinese.
I have more thoughts, but I'll stop here...
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Safe flying to you...