Rotor & Wing & Everything
News release:
The leading aerosplat conglomerate, Boing Boing, is about to revolutionize short haul air traffic. They have already started to modify their existing airplanes for use in nano airports.
These nanoports are to consist of a small circular runway, and they can be located in any large parking lot. Boing Boing's Director of Marketing, Al Hype, said that all municipal objections had been bought off.
Boing Boing's new concept is the VTOLVTUOPP (Vertical Takeoff and Landing Via The Use Of Pirouetting Planes). The concept consists of welding a large latch to the tip of the left wings of all existing airplanes. When two planes have been cleared for takeoff, they will lock latches and 'gun it'. The pirouetting planes will eventually build up enough rotational airspeed that they can do a vertical takeoff. At the prescribed altitude, preferably AGL, the two planes will unlatch and head off to their respectable destinations. Vertical landings are performed by rotating the manual 180-degrees and reading the takeoff instructions upside-down.
There are still a few problems, but most have been swept aside; by the downwash. Boing Boing's chief designer Flip Flop, in a decisive move, eliminated the problem of Centrifugal Force. He said that Centrifugal Force no longer exists and now they are only confronted with the much smaller problem of Centrifugal Effect. The renowned aerodynamic contrarian, Lu Who, had previously told Flip Flop that the Force may always be with you. Mr. Flop said "no sweat", he had discussed this with the legal department. He was made aware of a previous problem with the Fenestron and told that they had solved all the aerodynamic problems by changing the name to Fan-in-Tail' .
It is also reported that the European Airbike consortium found a loophole in the Boing Boing's patent and they immediately patented the right wing to right wing pirouette. This means that North American craft will takeoff and land with a counter-clockwise rotation whereas the European craft will do it clockwise. The Antarctican patent office has assigned it Patent #. -1. They gave it a negative number because they think that any further development has nowhere to go, but down.
Merry Pirouetting and a Happy New Landing to all.