Flying? The best thing about flying came to me on my first solo. Up until then, I was a love of aeroplanes as a machine. For some kids, it was trucks or racing cars, for me aeroplanes. For me, this love affair started on a flight (not the first) in a Pan Am B707 when I was 12 y.o. The technology, raw power and the glam cabin crew had me sold-this was for me.
My first solo was in a Bocian glider at BCS just after I turned 16. It was 42 mins long and I remember every second of it. I had started gliding aged 14 and had 30 hours dual because the club's insurance was for pilot-in-command minimum age 16.For the first time, I was cut loose for the world and fully responsible for the success or failure of the flight: master of my own destiny, fully self-reliant as a human for the first time. First solo in a Citabria 6 months later was only 7 mins, but equally enjoyable.
Solo cross country in a glider gave an even deeper feeling of solitude and self reliance. When the 'mother' airport is out of gliding distance and several thermals away, you have truely cut the umbilicus of easy gliding distance. To complete a 500km cross-country after battling and scratching for lift for 7 1/2 hours gives a sense some thing beyond pride. More like self-knowledge. Others, more spiritual, might call it Zen.
In a similar was, single pilot IFR, flying across the Bass Straight from HB with ice, low cloud, drizzle and turbulence and into MB at 3am gives you a feeling where
you know that you are a fully capable human being and that your potential as an individual is being fullfilled. As a Captain, again, the application of knowledge and experience to hold sole responsibility for the flight brings about a further depth of self-realisation. To hold it together on a dark stormy night and calm a panicing FO who is insisting to land, unannounced, at a remote Pacific Island just because the single HF radio has failed en-route reinforces that flying had contributed to my life-long individual development. This personal growth may have not come about had I choosen another profession.
The recognision of 'self' in flying is no longer present in what I do. Company bankruptcy and the Seniority concept have taken the self-satisfaction that comes from running the show. For the next X number of years, perhaps for the remainder of my career, I am now the side-kick for other Captains, some have my respect, others do not. I have always looked to these who were wiser and better than I as mentors. It is resonable to approach life this way. The seniority system has given commands to those who are younger, less experienced and often possessed of a sense of entitlement extending beyond their capabilities. Why else are so many failing their upgrades?
However, to suck up this unfairness and remove myself emotionally from the inherent injustice of the industry is also to be seen as a process of self-development. At the moment, I'm basically in it for the money, but in a few years, I will be able to retire and hang out at the gliding club again. On that day, I will extend my middle finger at airline 'managers' and other self-serving industry wan&ers and get back into real flying
