There are loads of gay pilots around - far more than you'd think. I know quite a few and I'm sure that's the tip of the iceberg. Most seem to be really sorted guys who don't shout about it, but would be open if asked - seems to be the best tack to take. I totally understand your dilemma as I went through the same one too, but seriously don't shout that you're out. I don't think the straight pilots are the only ones who think that's crap. Good luck.