SASless,
"what say we start with the two we beat your asses in?"
Well, while you undoubtedly won one of them, that being the second, not entirely sure that you can claim the first. As it was a spat about taxation that escalated into a revolution, between folk who were all at the time actually British, technically we beat ourselves...
As to the second, technically you indeed did win, but you never really wupped anyone's ass now did you? It was brought to an end by a treaty, The Treaty of Ghent, and there were still vast swathes of the US occupied by the British that were only handed back as a result of the treaty.
Britain was also fighting the French at the time, a much larger almost global conflict, and regarded the US war of 1812 as a bit of a sideshow.
We became staunch allies after that Treaty. I like to think we still are.