Once upon a time, in a small Far Eastern country, where the oil is under the sea and not far from land, a group of contractors converged. There were two groups of contractors and one had even brought a helicopter with them. The others were just pilots visiting for the rainy season when the crew-boats couldn't run and more helicopter activity was the plan.
The group of contractors with the helicopter were a mixed bag of Australians, Canadians and Europeans and they belonged to a company called Okanagan, a long dead ancestor of the mighty CHC.
The visiting pilots were British as were many of the resident work-force at that time and we enjoyed the excellent company of both residents and Okanagans.
One amongst the Okanagans was a chap called Jack - and Jack was a jolly fellow and a great practical joker. His speciality was slipping a match head into one of your cigarettes during the tea break should you be foolish enough to leave them lying around. When enjoying your nicotine fix the cigarette would explode and terrify one and all ----- and Jack would always be there peering into the crew-room and chuckling merrily.
Deciding that enough was enough we sought some retribution and knowing these stout fellows to be country bumpkins to the core we dreamed-up a wicked scam.
A function was invented and the whole team invited to attend. It was to be an important event for the ambitious acting chief pilot and a special day for the wife of one Okanagan who was visiting at the time. The heart of the scam was to get these guys dressed up with a tie - something they were definitely not accustomed to. The plan was to collect them together at the Shell Guest House and take a photograph of them in their finery. This included an expensive new dress for the young lady and a wonderful collection of ties that had been borrowed from the resident crews.
Their smiling faces were to turn to grimace and disappointment when they proceeded to the dining room to find, not the Canadian High Commissioner to Kuching (if such a person even existed) but a two-man welcoming committee who, so as not to disappoint, had arranged a curry lunch for them to enjoy and a few cold beers in which to shed their tears.
Give them their due - most saw the funny side. I must say that ever since I have wondered what the Public Affairs Department thought when they received a small slip attesting to the promised attendance of ALL Okanagans to an event about which they knew not a jot.
G.
The form looked something like this:
BSP – Public Affairs Department
NOTICE OF EVENT – Ref. PA1410
On the 13th October the Canadian High Commissioner for Kuching will visit the BSP facilities at Seria and Anduki and afterwards will be entertained for luncheon at the Shell Guest House.
DEPARTMENTAL ACTION REQUIRED
The Okanagan Helicopters detachment at Anduki are requested to attend the above luncheon. Please indicate below those attending, detach the reply slip and forward to:
Public Affairs
Can Hi Com/Oct
HQ
Seria
Your attention is drawn to the protocol advice below:
PROTOCOL
Event Classification - Semi-Formal
Dress Codes – (Host department to indicate dress requirements)
Gentlemen – White Tie
Black Tie
Lounge Suit
Jacket & Tie
Shirt Sleeves with tie - ✔
Shirt Sleeves no tie
Ladies – Ball Gown
Cocktail Dress
Formal Dress
Informal Dress - ✔
VENUE
Shell Guest House, 13.00h
Tear here and return to Public Affairs as soon as possible.
Function Ref No. ………………………………………….
Number Attending ……………………………………………………….