If you want to talk through your headset (make/receive calls) on the iPhone using the cable you have to have a TTY adapter. It's a very small adapter but as with anything apple, you pay through the nose approx $30 - $50.
As for listening to music whilst flying, I'm all for it. I have a dedicated flying playlist with everything from jazz to hard rock. All incoming and out going transmissions auto mute the music and if it was to get too distracting I'd just switch it off, it would take all of 2 seconds to do.
Knox.