kme how right you are.
A friend of mine recently had an MOR "filed against him" by an ATCO and tried to discuss the circumstances with the controller and all he got was invective.
Looking at the circumstances I considered the controller to be "in the wrong".
The pilot could, in my opinion, have also have filed an MOR allocating blame to the ATCO..
But this allocation of blame is not the point of an MOR. The circumstances of any incident worth reporting should be looked at dispassionately to see what can be learnt from the incident and to see if any changes to procedures are required.