I was sat on, erm, a Nimrod C130 once, next to a SNCO - mate of mine -manning the door gun. This army Brigadier was shouting "Staff! Staff!" to get his attention.
Well, my mate was having none of it until the Brigadier was right in his face. The Brigadier asked if he was ignoring him, my mate said he didn't know it was him being called as he was a flight sergeant, right?
So the Brigadier said, "Well, if you were in the army, you'd be a staff sergeant."
And my mate said, this is brilliant, "No Sir, if I was in the army, I'd be a Colonel." We were in stitches honestly. Legend.