PPRuNe Forums - View Single Post - Friday Jokes
Thread: Friday Jokes
View Single Post
Old 3rd Dec 2011, 01:47
  #7 (permalink)  
FlamantRose
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: France
Age: 81
Posts: 24
BRIGHTER CRICKET

An interesting game took place here today, when the Hon. John Everhard brought over a team of the Old Bastardians to meet a team of Society Ladies captained by Mrs Wearwell. The proceeds were to be augmented by various lotteries, but the Chief Constable ordered all draws off.

After tossing was done with, it was seen that the men were going in first, and the ladies assumed their proper positions on the ground. The Ladies' captain, I noticed, was in the slips and this made it difficult to force things. Mr Hampton, however, succeeded at last, stands. The latter appeared to have dug himself in and was blocking steadily, resisting all Miss Pratts' efforts to draw him out. Unfortunately, when trying to pull to square leg, he completely missed his stroke and out came his middle stump.
Mr Woodcock followed and was at the crease for twenty minutes, displaying great patience, when there was a sharp appeal for Miss Conduct and the umpire's finger went up. Some slackness was apparent in the field when Miss Carriage dropped a sitter right in front of the pavillion, but Miss Wantcock managed to get her hand to a hard one and failed to hold it. Miss R. Soverhead drew frequent applause, showing her ability behind the stumps, but in trying to take a hot one she turned a complete somersault. The men were all out by lunch time.

In resuming, it was noticed that A. Testicle was dropped and not merely suspended as rumored.

Lord Foreskinner was in his usual position at cover point. The first two ladies, Phil Chambers and Poppy Tupper opened with great confidence. The Ladies' captain, Miss Fidget used the long handle with great confidence and great vigour and produced excellent results. Cox was tired, but he succeeded in bowling a maiden over. He kept a beautiful length, but his balls were inclined to bump, much to the discomfort of the Ladies. Little Miss Virgo Intacta was loudly cheered when she faced John Everhard, but she had not much time before she was sent up a long one that appeared to break back in her crease. There was an ominous click, and a groan was heard as she walked back to the clubhouse.

The were four more Ladies to come and, with rain threatening, it looked as it they would have their backs to the wall. Great things were expected of Major Tool and the Ladies treated him with great respect, but after he had been at the nursery for half an hour, he had failed to come off. Although he had been keeping his balls low, Miss Ophelia Pratt hooked one, much to the delight of the crowd.

There was faulty judgement somewhere, when Miss Philpott shouted "I'm coming" and there were cries of "No wait", but in the excitement, she started and ran out. She said afterwards "Mike Hunt was too fast for me". Miss Hyan Ready then faced the onslaught, but being too eager, she got her leg in front of a straight one. "I hadn't the time to open out" she confided.

The match was a draw, and Lady Comewell said she would like a return match, with the Ladies on top for a change.
FlamantRose is offline