So I pay £1,800 for five of us to go Faro and back. Low cost? To who? "Speedy Boarding" would have added an additional £135 to our holiday. Stuff that. I sent my seven year old on first with all of the boarding passes, followed by her slightly elder brothers (one at a time) and let the cabin crew sort out the mess. I really don't care if this causes a delay. No problem for me. They can sit next to whomever they want. But if EasyJet would like to make my experience of expensive air travel more agreeable, they can allocate seats to my family for free, like real airlines.
I'm not sure I understand this post at all. Firstly if you paid £1500 for 5 people to Faro then that's a good deal if you ask me, that's only £300 return each...not that expensive considering it's a popular holiday destination.
You also make reference to obscure things which wouldn't happen on any airline, let alone EZY.
Gate Staff wouldn't let a 7 year old through on her own, so why sending her first with all the boarding cards is a good idea is beyond me. You would be better off just getting to the gate early. If you're so annoyed at having spent £1500 on flights then surely you won't want to waste more money at the airport shopping mall?
Also, and this is the main issue I have with your post, IF you bothered to read the details on the EZY website then it also says that bookings made with several people will be allocated seats next to one another automatically, provided this is possible...which is what every airline which offers allocated seating does. I know it doesn't always work in practice but you can be certain that when that plane takes off your children will be seated next to you or an adult in your party. Gate staff sort all of this out before the boarding commences when they see a problem...or if a problem is brought to their attention.
If you say nothing out of spite and just leave it to the cabin crew then that is just bad form as they are already busy trying to get your £1500 flight out on time so you can enjoy your holiday.
As for "proper airlines" whatever that is, then why do BA want £70 extra off of me to pick my seats for a set of flights next May?
Why do United Airlines want an extra £80-£100, per sector for an exit row seat?
Why does KLM not even let you choose a seat on a short haul flight?
Why does Aer Lingus charge for refreshments and baggage?