Two (allegedly) real comments:
ATC: 'American 123, descend to altitude 5000' the QNH 1018 millibars'
AA: 'Okay London, could we have that in inches'
ATC: 'American 123, descend to 60000 inches the QNH 1018 millibars'
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It goes along similar lines to the gay steward joke, but is meant to be true from a well known BA Captain
ATC: 'Speedbird 123 turn right 60 degrees and descend flight level 210'
Capt You-know-who: 'Right 60 degrees and descend flight level 210, Speedbird 123 and can you tell me the reason for this'
ATC: 'Speedbird 123 you've got Kittyhawk XXX, with the Queen on board, a short distance in front of you'
Capt YKW: 'Well that's just great. You tell Kittyhawk that he's got just one Queen on board; I've got at least 7 and I'd like to maintain height and heading'
(With broad Cockney accent for affect)
Pontius
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You Ain't Seen Me - Right !!