.... it is after all an offence to be intoxcxicated onboard an aircraft under UK air navigation laws.
Not true. Indeed, any amount of alcohol will intoxicate to some extent and all western airlines serve quite substantial quantities on request -- a drink before the meal, wine with the meal and a liqueur afterwards. Enough to make anyone other than a heavyweight drinker to feel at least 'mellow'. i.e. intoxicated.
What the CAA does say, in its advice to passengers (which, let's face it, would be the definitive guidance used by a defence lawyer as it is all that's available to the travelling public) is.....
http://www.caa.co.uk/docs/3/PAS_travelsafely.pdf
It is an offence to enter an aircraft whilst drunk
or to be drunk on board an aircraft therefore if you
drink too much before a flight, the airline will refuse
to allow you to board the aircraft. Alcohol has a
greater effect on the human body at altitude than
on the ground. Passengers who are drunk can
expect to be met by the police on arrival and have
their return flights cancelled. There have been cases
where drunken passengers have caused serious
safety hazards and the pilot has diverted the aircraft
to offload them. Penalties include a heavy fine or
a prison sentence, or both.
There is no definition of 'drunk' and the word 'intoxicated' is not used at all. The man on the Clapham ombibus would think that 'drunk' means some combination of being unsteady gait, slurred speech, inappropriate behaviour, vomiting,...and so on. Slurred speech or unsteady gait, by themselves might be due to a medical condition such as a previous stroke and inappropriate behaviour might be due to some condition such as learning disabilities. So more than one factor would clearly need to be present to confirm being 'drunk'. Smelling strongly of drink would make sense, as a factor, but it isn't mentioned, presumably because it is so subjective?
Indeed, the archives are full of cases where someone with a medical condition has been dismissed as being 'drunk'.
Motorists and pilots have a specified maximum breath alcohol level and that's pretty meaningful but there seems not to be any meaningful definition of 'drunk' that is accessible to the travelling public.
Maybe more scarey than a young lady who while tiddly makes unwelcome advances to a stranger, are those who want to bang her up in pokey for a decade. That really is scarey. Equally scarey is the possibility that a flight attendant can be so distressed by such unwelcome attention that they feel it necessary to call the Old Bill to handcuff her and take her to 'justice' on arrival. That is REALLY scarey. How on earth did the world become so PC? Is the flight attendant robust enough to carry out his duties?
What would happen in the case of a panicking passenger during turbulence or emergency procedures?
Does flight attendant have the 'grit' to cope, when the chips are down?