How to get there as a student

[Poeli]

First, some prehistory of myself. I’m 22 years old, went to college and got a bachelor degree in aeronautical engineering. Now I’m taking classes to become a master in aeronautical engineering. This takes in total two years. In my bachelor I had the choice to begin the theory for the atpl and start the flight training. But the school was the classic ‘lie to the students and put their money in my pocket’ school. To be short: I didn’t like them. So I decided to graduate as engineer and not as a ‘pilot’ (only atpl theory and some flying hours).

Then I was looking out to begin flight training, after my bachelor. I tried the Jetairfly cadet programme and was given a negative response in the 2nd round. So I decided to start the master courses. I’m sure that, when I graduate I will be looking to start flight training again. Maybe I will do it, maybe not.
Now I’m trying to save as much money as possible to train modular. But as a student, it seems impossible. Just yesterday I worked in a car factory with toxic paints without a gas mask. All day long. I had a breakdown in the evening, questioning myself why work that much and why flight training is so ridiculous expensive. Normally I have enough money saved as a student to start my PPL next summer. But that’s only the beginning. Rent an aircraft and go flying for one hour: work 2 days as a student. Rent a twin engined aircraft at the local flight school and fly it for one hour: work 7 days. Is it me or is this crazy?

I feel like it’s- no matter how hard and much I work as a student- it’s impossible to get to my objective. I don’t even get close. I work every summer and save around 80% of it. This for already 3 years. If I would take on integrated lessons (I’m not going to do it) I would have around 5% of the budget needed for it. Are there any other people in my situation? Trying to make it work as a student but feeling they won’t make it? It’s like I’m fighting something I can’t win from, and keep on fighting against it because I’ve set my mind on it.

I’ve thought a lot of putting the whole idea out of my mind. But I have no idea how to do it. Sure, I’m able to do it for like 3 weeks. But when I go to an airport, see an airplane or even see the inside of an airport I know I want to fly and the feeling of ‘I want to but it seems impossible right now’ is there.
Going on like this as a student is crazy I think. If I go further with training the only (cheaper) option Is FAA modular (while I work as an aeronautical engineer in Europe). I don’t care where I would work, whether it’s in Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia, the USA or what I fly, whether it’s an old Cessna or a CRJ… But the way it goes right now is just not right. I feel like the only thing I’m doing is studying, working and not living. I’m not the one to complain about working: I’ve worked in car factories, airports, fruit juice companies, meat companies, prepared food companies.

But there are certain limits. I feel like I’m working but not seeing any result of it. Yes my bank account slightly increases, but at the same time the costs of flight training increase.

Has anyone some tips or ideas? Going modular after I have my master degree and work as an engineer? Trying to go for the FAA licences? How to put the idea of becoming a pilot out of my head? I have no debts from college I'm currently taking, my parents have decent jobs (doctor and dentist). But I'm not willing to look my parents in the eyes and ask them for money. They've worked for it, so should I.