Bearcat
Before this thread closes a bit of advice.....in the unlikely event you find yourself in this hypothetical situation please, please, accept that you don't know what you don't know....
Golden rules:
Don't touch anything on the glareshield.
Don't touch the yoke or the side stick.
Don't touch the FMC/CDU or similar.
Find the press to transmit switch and shout "mayday" and unquestionly accept any advice that comes your way...and prey that you've got more than minimum fuel.
Yessir! I appreciate your advice. What I have learned from this thread at least is that autoland is a better option than hand flying (regardless of what I might think). And I doubt I would be stupid enough not to call for help from the ground!
Thanks again