Can't recall if we've had the:
Officers and their Ladies
NCOs and their Wives
Other ranks and their Women
Two accounts from my past spring to mind on this Thread.
First, I organised a dinner at a well known Jaguar base near Norwich. Dress was No: 5 or DJ. The NCOs who attended turned up their No: 5s and a great evening was had by all.
Second, I organised a dinner at Wycombe where the principal external guest was a female officer whose husband was a corporal. There was never any suggestion that he should not attend and the 2**'s main concern was that he MUST BE THERE. Again no problem.
I think we make too much of this 'rank and status' thing. There are good reasons why it's there and it is no different from civvy street, except that it might be more 'formalised' than 'implied'.
During a long but exceptionally undistinguished career, I took the view that if I had to throw the weight of my rank around, in order to make things happen, then it was most probably (though not always) my failure.
Old Duffer