PA's at the gate
The funniest i've heard was a final call by one of my colleagues for "Mr, Mrs and Master Bates" - they were the last pax and our system showed that we were two males and one female down by the name of Bates - so she put out the call!
I liked one I heard on the Metro-North Railroad in New York which I'll work in next time it's raining, the airport version will be "The aircraft steps will be slippery so please watch your step, if you do fall then please watch your language!"
Others have been "Would passenger Jones please report to gate 7 where your fellow 233 passengers are awaiting their sun-tan", "Would passengers in the area of gate 17 please take a seat, sit down, no standy pleasey", and perhaps my all time best was "Would passenger Roger's please report to gate 84 where your Go flight has Gone".
Becks
P.S. My longest announcement was timed at three minutes and seventeen seconds.