Has anyone any 'military' songs, especially flying? More often than not, they're a touche cynical or sardonic, but that goes with the territory. I'll start.
This was written when I served on RAF Hercules.
For the nostalgic amongst us who remember crud and custard Fat Albert, this song was written around the time the new centre wing section was added (Mod 29). The aircraft were then painted grey and green during the process.
For the really sad, who remember, at the time we had an ongoing problem with New York Air Brake hydraulic pumps which had a penchant for breaking up – these were replaced with Vickers pumps which had a temperature activated run around system, unfortunately could result in no hyd pressure – an aircraft wasn’t allowed to have all Vickers pumps if memory serves.
This (slightly cynical) song was written to the melody Greensleeves (what else?). Enjoy
GreenWings (Mod 29 embodied)
I volunteered for Hercules
For some airline training and more Duty Free
Now that I'm deafened and totally stunned
I wish I had opted for Coastal Command
Chorus
Off to Gander or Gutersloh
Where is it this time?
Do you need to know?
Are they Land Rovers, or are they crates
Or sixty two camouflaged walking freight?
The captain he sits in the left hand seat
Knowing that captains are cream of the fleet
This is the highlight of his career
But no VC10 scraper and a thousand a year
The Co-pilot sulks in a miserable mood
The loady's just told him we've run out of food
To becoming a Captain the Co is quite keen
Instead of a green-suited eating machine
Chorus
The Nav he sits and he grafts all the time
Plotting three star fixes on imaginary lines
"Inertial" nav, he's a boon to the crew
When asked,"Where are we Nav?" says "I haven't a clue"
The Engineer sits by the central console
And nobody knows he does nothing at all
Once every hour he concocts a fuel state
But this only proves that the bastard’s awake
The Loadmaster's characterised by long arms
Gert great big muscles and bugger all charm
His loading is great but his directions are poor
The forklift's just buckled the Ramp and the door
Chorus
Three orange lights! Pumps OFF at the rush
Christ we're stuck here four days with an Hydraulic flush
But we carry four boxes and two rubber wheels
A green towing arm- and all the wrong seals
Ops won’t you please inform the wife
To help minimise the marital strife
Four days at fifty five dollars Co please
I need it to pay my solicitors fees.
Chorus