Try doing a running commentary as you drive your car - say outloud what you are seeing, thinking and doing.
You will find that it is quite easy whilst things are going well, but when the situation gets more demanding you will dry-up. Now impagine that as part of your evasive manouver (for a car pulling out of a side road in front of you) that you need to make that commentary whilst you are looking for an escape route and steering / braking the car. It just ain't going to happen. You will only be able to add the commentary after you miss the idiot and get "straight and level" again.
Same thing for me driving a heli. Only it's a far more mentally demanding environment in my single-engined unstablised cab than driving a car. That's why you won't get anything more than basic until I have mental capacity and time to do something else.
Seems to me that the best solution is for pilots to spend some time in control rooms and for ATCs to spend some time in the cab. That way we really will understand each others needs a little more.