SASless,
Thanks for the Irish whiskey suggestions, but I generally partake of Bourbon when I am disproving your teetotaler assertions. I drove through Frankfort Kentucky a few years back, and saw the homes of many of my college friends, like J. W. Dant, Jim Beam, and the like. They were helpful in convincing me that staying in college and going to frat parties with Southern Belles was inferior to sitting on the ammo bay door of a Cobra, eating Beanie-Weenies! Some friends!
Nick