Ok...
In 3rd, Runaway gun with:
"That may be the correct grip for a golf club Mr Norman, but you'll have to relax your hands like this to be able to hold these controls."
In 2nd, and just a little irony, is LooseNuts with:
"Yes, I am a Nav, you can tell, I haven't learnt how to lace my boots all the way up yet"
But, the baton for this week goes to
OK465 with:
Here it is...a Slazenger 7.
Over to you...