I can help a little with the longhaul side. I flew shorthaul for another airline before joining BA.
The main lifestyle issues for me at my previous company were roster instablilty (multiple changes of roster, only the days off were untouched) and my desire to live a few hours away from LHR with my family.
BA longhaul allows me to commute (can be frustrating at times, but my choice), many fewer nights in hotels at LHR (I try to avoid any reports before mid afternoon and at just below halfway down the list on my fleet I can achieve this), and the rosters don't change, so I can plan things in advance.
Bluntly, you won't achieve two weekends off a month until you get at least a third up the list on whatever fleet you join, -how long that takes depends on all the usual factors (retirements(!), expansion etc), of late I'd say 6 years but that means nothing for future prospects. Bind line longhaul, I'd say 15 days off a month is possible, but working every weekend and no choice (but shorter flights/fewer hours). Shorthaul (I'm guessing 13-14).
I think we all need to be realistic about the nature of the profession we've chosen (anti-social hours etc), it does put a strain on many peoples family lives.
Am I glad I joined BA? Yes, It's exceeded my expectations. It's about as secure as any flying job in the UK, the other pilots I work with are great company and despite the recent issues with the crew strikes, I sense a new a beginning in that relationship and in fairness have never had any issues as I treat people as I wish to be treated myself. That said, I also really enjoyed working at my old company and was really unsure about leaving.
I didn't apply to VS as I didn't know if longhaul would suit me, at least at BA you can move back to shorthaul if the jetlag becomes too much!
I think the best advice is decide what is important to you (quick command, nights at home, roster stability, choice of days off, salary, ability to commute) and make the decision from there.
Hope that helps.