Well, all of that is built into our SOPs, which have been thought out to make them work in a high-intensity operation without wasting time. The crew should check on us 20 minutes after seat belt sign is switched off; we may not be quite at top of climb and therefore out of "focussed flight deck", but we'll be close enough to have the capacity to respond.
You're probably right, the problem is probably mine. In the airlines in which I have worked, the cabin crew work far harder during flights than the flight deck, and so the thought of getting them to run around after us and be distracted from passengers when we are out of "busy-time" above 30,000' would be ridiculous. We depend upon them to provide for us, of course, and they have a safety role in ensuring that we're still alive, but that's all we expect. I personally am uncomfortable (my problem again) with being treated deferentially, having been brought up in a society in which everyone has equal value as a human being, from the most junior cabin crew member to the chief pilot, or for that matter the CEO. So I'd never be happy to assume authority except that which is inherent in my role - I think I've had to assert that authority over cabin crew about twice, and it was no more than a gentle growl - and that doesn't extend to specifying how my crew food is presented. I think that fits fairly well with where most of our crew are coming from, which I guess is good from the point of view of the working environment. However, if flight crew in other airlines are used to being waited on, and cabin crew are happy to do it, then who am I to judge? There is only a problem if/when the worlds collide.