As far as I'm concerned, the attitude of somebody who expects to see other members of their crew waiting on them to their specification is closely aligned with the attitude of somebody with the attitudes expressed by this captain, absent the four letter words.
Have you considered that might be your problem Paul? You are expressing views that are far too narrowly focused in order to make a radical point based on little more than your opinion. Few other people see the "problem" you have expressed as being a particular problem in the grand scheme of things.
Cabin crew have a primary safety role, however much of their day to day role does involve waiting on people. For the most part that involves the passengers under their charge. To a more limited degree it also involves their colleagues, including the technical crew. They don't have a problem with that, so I am not sure why you do?
In all the years I have been flying, I am at a total loss to recall even one single incident involving the crew meal. Yes we have had discussions on choice, ever declining quality, timing, temperature, etc. It has been the cause of much laughter, grumbles, discussion, and general comment. I have even had the rare luxury of having an onboard chef (for the passengers) who has prepared the various courses at the relevant times. On one such occaision we joked that the lobster was simply too small and perhaps the caviar shouldn't have been served without a chilled spoon. We discussed writing a strongly worded complaint on the voyage report. We laughed, and then moved on to whatever else required attention. I have little doubt that if things had been different (and I had been a "grumpy git") genuinely complaining about the timing of my courses, the crew would still have laughed (perhaps not in my presence,) and life would have gone on without causing the collapse of a meaningful CRM structure, or the downfall of the professional standing of the worlds pilot population.
It may we worth mentioning, that I have recently had discussions with my own management concerning an issue relevant to this subject. The cabin crew are told that they can start serving after the seat belt signs have been switched off (at 18,000ft). Many of them will therefore start serving meals to the flightdeck crew (often prior to their longer passenger service,) at this point. As you will be aware, that is often a point in the flight when life is still very busy on the flightdeck, and is often not the best time for distractions concerning the choice or consumption of meals. This isn't a fault on the part of the cabin crew, who are complying with their own training. It is (in my opinion) a fault on the part of the training department. Not everybody shares this concern, and discussions are ongoing. However I make the point because in fact it is still what you have described as an issue concerning...
somebody who expects to see other members of their crew waiting on them to their specification.
I will usually brief the relevant members of the crew, to delay the serving of crew meals until a more appropriate time. From their point of view that is a variance to their own SOP's, but so be it. I give a reason, utilize my own sense of humour if relevant, and manage.
In the example (or rumour) you gave, it is unclear whether the captain wanted to vary the timing of his own meal for reasons of health, convenience, preference, or beause he was simply grumpy generally. Whatever the reason (and even taking the worst case scenario,) few people (including myself) can see why this is an issue that causes you so much apparent angst? It really isn't a safety issue, nor does it bring the entire profession into the disrepute that you suggest it does.
A bad tempered rant against various groups of your colleagues, that is then negligently broadcast to the world in general, is hardly comparable. Such behaviour, erroneous though it clearly was, would certainly contribute to a public perception of professional disrepute. Even torturing logic to the extreme, it is difficult to see a correlation between these two examples.