Well, I don't really know what to say. As far as I'm concerned, the attitude of somebody who expects to see other members of their crew waiting on them to their specification is closely aligned with the attitude of somebody with the attitudes expressed by this captain, absent the four letter words. It fundamentally misunderstands the nature of the operation of the crew. Other people don't see these two cases as being radically different behaviours: they have been similarly surprised at the behaviour of the pilot in the OP. This includes other pilots in my airline.
There's a difference between an assigned position which looks after the welfare of the pilots and one which is to wait on the pilots.
Clearly my understanding of what leadership looks like diverges from the people who have replied on here.