but in the end I convince myself that even average pilots can save the day.
Indeed, most of us would be far more concerned about getting killed driving to and from the airport - although I sometimes shudder at some of the third world operators into whose tender care I have entrusted my life over the years.
Risk principally is tied up with probability/seriousness of outcome/exposure period/frequency. It is human nature to accept mitigated risk. Caveat - young men, being programmed genetically to be less worried about risk than the rest of us, might tend to be less concerned about the mitigation bits and more about the adrenaline buzz.
We just have to accept that, every now and again, the ducks all line up nicely to give Lady Luck a clean shot at the heart. It is this phenomenon which drives much in the way of regulated technological development.
There are no guarantees, only probabilities.