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I am not CC but a pax with an aviation background and common sense to "get in, sit down, strap in and shut up". (no carry ons)
Best CC come backs ever heard:
1. raging large fe-pax at front desk was giving the agent a really hard time for act of god wx issues. The pax rant continued all the way down the jet way and the aisle until she sat in exit row aisle. (Anyone already know where this is going?). The gate agent notified the senior FA of the pax's attitude. Senior FA says quietly " I got it". Boarding continues and eventually the exit row briefs begin. CC: "Ma'me you'll need to move to another seat forward." Pax: more rant about being treated badly, followed by "I'm staying in this seat". CC: "Ma'me, really you'll need to move forward to 15D." Pax: "Why must I do that!" (ok here it comes). Loud enough for all to hear.. CC: "because you are too fat to sit in an exit row seat and are a safety risk to other passengers". Red faced Pax moved.
2. grossly huge male-pax with 3 carry-ons was told by ticket agent to check a bag. PAX (barging past the agent and down the jetway to 1st class he yells back over his shoulder, "This is my medical bag!" (i'm thinking - Jaba the Hut is a doctor? He's carrying a gym bag and 2 rolling suit cases).
At the hatch threshold he is met by greeting flight attendant. CC:"Excuse me Sir, You have 3 bags and need to check one". PAX goes into a rant (why do they do that?) "This is my medical bag!" CC: is it a personal oxygen bottle?.
PAX: "It's my medical bag! I'm bringing it on. I fly a lot and I know my rights!!"
CC: "I fly a lot too, and I know the rules. Check you gear."
Pax checked his bag.
I love to fly and just listen......