Paul,
If you will forgive me saying so, you are starting to come across as mildly obsessed with this topic. All these "shocking stories" and "rumours of captains who want to eat their dinner in courses"?
In my experience (a lot of it,) work colleagues, be they F/O's, cabin crew, line engineers, and people in the office, are not usually shy about talking about anything or anyone that they consider out of the ordinary in some way.
Perhaps their "reluctance" requires a more introspective consideration on the part of the interrogator?