Originally Posted by
flybymike
I'm feeling a bit second rate. I have never been banned from anywhere....
You poor old thing, FBM.
It's just not
fair, is it?
There you are, in your twilight years, and all you want is a bit of excitement in life. A bit of fizz, a touch of sparkle, a hint of living dangerously.
Yes, there's the regular rush of adrenalin when they bring the tea-trolley round, and you have the thrill of discovery: will it be custard creams, choccy digestives or...in a moment of madness...
garibaldi?
But what you're really yearning for, the escape to the wild-side, back to the carefree days of youth, full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes.....what you really want, what you
really, really want is to be banned by Pprune, knowing that your name will pass into legend, that threads will run for weeks debating your legacy, and that folk will post reverential comments along the lines of "FBM...love him or hate him...you have to say, he
really knew his biscuits"
But no...not after ten years, a thousand posts, nothing. Not even a hint of a reprimand. Not so much as a gentle chiding about a repost, not a thread you started moved to a more appropriate forum, not a request to keep your image postings to the forum recommended dimensions. Nothing.
The trouble is, old mate, you're too nice. You're not just square, you're a hypercube. You're Cleggy from Last of the Summer Wine, never an unkind word or deed, when what you really want to be is Compo, the scruffy miscreant - all ferrets and binder twine, winding up the Nora Batty.
But we're all friends here, and as such we hate to see you pining away, unable to fulfill your dreams. So, here's what we're going to do.
You're going to pretend to take huge exception to something I've posted, and call me a very, very bad name. Something to do with donkeys, maybe. I'm going to pretend to be upset, and complain to the beak. When he - presumably in a state of shock - asks you to withdraw the comment, you call him the same thing....twice....in public. There won't be any alternative then....like Nora Batty setting about Compo with a broom, you'll be out on your ear. Grinning like a maniac.
Job done. As I've said, we're all your mates here, and we're here to help. I know you'd do the same thing for me, old timer. I
know you would.
