Memo To Group Management.
By hand, to be opened by the addressee only:
It has come to my attention that some Group Executives are operating under the mistaken impression that short term performance is the determinant of their remuneration rather than adherence to the long term goals of our majority shareholders. The Board therefore wishes to restate the guiding principles that underpin our operations, even at the risk of stating the obvious.
The first principle is that at all times the corporation must ensure that as little as possible information, financial or otherwise, that may hint at the true value, and of course profitability of our operations, is publicly released.
While we are required by continuous disclosures law to provide the markets with material information, the Board makes every effort to ensure that such information as we provide is not only legally correct, but supports our communication strategy. It is difficult enough to reconcile a growth in revenue with an announcement regarding the painful necessity of redundancies, but we have to try.
Our task is not made any easier by Group Executives "high five - ing" each other and congratulating themselves on their monthly profitability in the presence of junior employees. At all times we must maintain a suitably hang dog expression and ensure that an atmosphere of anxiety and depression over the corporate future is maintained. You must always remember that our efforts to outsource, downsize and otherwise break the spirit of our Australian employees will be completely compromised if there is the slightest hint of how profitable and valuable we really are, or even the suggestion that over time we might become profitable.
I do not need to tell you that were Australians in general and shareholders in particular able to understand the full value of this corporation, there would be serious pressure for change at Board level. Group Executives will not be immune from that pressure should it develop. Fortunately for us, there are no financially literate people with the requisite industry experience in Australia in the press, regulators or Government who are able to correctly assess our worth that we do not already control or at least influence. This is why we continue to get away with our little "acceptable return" tag line; "Yes, we are profitable we tell the markets, but the returns aren't acceptable." Nobody can gainsay us.
Be aware however that we cannot rely solely on this lack of expertise to protect us. As the unfortunate failed bid demonstrated, there are enough institutional shareholders already who are deeply suspicious of our motives. We need to tread an exceedingly fine line between disappointing our shareholders and keeping our employees in a permanent state of anxiety about their job security.
I know its difficult, but each piece of good news must be matched by a corresponding negative. Our strategy relies on the corporation being permanently "under threat" to its very existence. Our ability to manipulate our workforce, regulators and the Government relies on this tried and proven totalitarian tactic. To put it another way, there must be no good news, ever!
No executive will ever be penalised for down playing the performance of their operations.
Burn this now.