I guess South Africa is too Europeanised to be worth reporting on here, you have to pretty unlucky to get a bad hotel in SA.
As for the rest of the continent, elephants in the reception area, pubic hairs in the shower, hookers in the bed (room service), rusty springs poking through mattresses, no water or electricity, vervet monkeys jumping onto your shoulder when you're having an early morning pee, boomslangs on the balcony, transfers to the airport by donkey cart, unvarying diet of green slime, brown slime and grey slime for food, warm beer, cold coffee .......... been there, done that, got the T-shirts (and the ****s!)