Well I'm gutted people ... just been dumped by yet another long term girlfriend ... a girl I really loved ... because of my constant putting aviation before the relationship
All she wanted was an indication of when this constant living apart, financial hardship and uncertainty about the future would end ... a not unreasonable request ... and I couldn't give it to her because (unless I jack this flying business and get a normal career) then I don't know myself!
Since getting my CPL/IR in '96 I've been hammering the CVs and updates, brown nosing industry types left and right, instructing my ass off to get the hours and doing all the right things for over 5 years now and still as poor as a church mouse with no RHS light at the end of the tunnel. And it SUCKS
I have been lying in bed thinking about it this morning and reluctantly come to the conclusion that I am a nasty, selfish and obsessive person compared to what I used to be before I heard of aviation. Back when I had less worries I would never have blown off a girl like that for the sake of any damn fool job or career, but now I don't even care that much, all that my life seems to revolve around is getting that flying job. It has to be a totally unbalanced and unhealthy way to run your life, I'm sure any psychologist could tell me the same.
I wonder if there's a comparison between flying and drug addiction, I don't know if anyone saw that guy in the documentary on Channel 4 a few weeks back who had blown a hole in his nose from repeated cocaine use and his doctor was like "you've got to stop or you'll have no face left" and then he said to the interviewer "well it's not life threatening, I'll stop if it gets serious"!! It was blindingly obvious to most normal people that he was as mad as a sack of rabid dogs for keeping on doing what he was doing, but he was totally oblivious to it himself.
Pretty morbid post from a normally up beat chap like myself I know. All my mates keep saying 'hang in there you'll get the job soon', no doubt they're right but in the bigger scheme of things, I do wonder if we're all just being lemmings together?