Top 10 lies in ATC
With tongue firmly in cheek here are the top 10 lies told in Australian ATC (with their actual meanings in brackets). Some are to pilots, some are to other ATCs.
"Call you back"
("I didn't see who that was calling and I don't care")
"In with a ground station, say again?"
("I was talking to Simo about Saturday night")
"....just beat me to it"
("I didn't even see it")
"Will advise if direct tracking becomes available"
("I'm not even going to check, it's too much work")
"Yeah, I've seen those two, thanks"
("Sh!t!")
"Yeah, I already told him to call"
("Who?")
"Do you want me to put speeds on those two?"
("I just noticed the 120kts closing")
"The Flow has changed the sequence again"
("I forgot to do any sequencing at all")
"Take your time coming back from your break"
("You'd better bloody be back on time 'coz I want to get out")
"Not sure what happened there, but I'm reading you 5"
("I was plugged in to 'Monitor'")