Black Jake - yes, I believe you have it - and there are two ways to improve at anything - the slow way, self taught, and by experience, and the fast track, with a good mentor who is able to pass on their experience to you.
In my view the problem with private flying is that it is one of the worst examples of creating an enviroment in which people share their experience. In sport people join clubs, train together, compete together and by its nature are often anxious to perform better, in business it is very much in the owner's interest to mentor emplyees, but with flying it can end up being a pretty lonely experience.