Jetjock330 - I think this is what you were after albeit a different part of the world...
Diary of an englishman in newman, western australia
DIARY OF AN ENGLISHMAN IN NEWMAN, WESTERN AUSTRALIA
August 31
Just got transferred with work from grey old London to our new home in
Newman, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from
a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I've finally found my
new home. I love it here.
September 13
Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem though. Living in
air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun every day like this.
I'm turning into a sun-worshipper.
September 30th
Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. No more mowing lawns for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it
here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though. Keeps the flies off
a bit. Acclimatising is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 60% of my
body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb thing to do! Got to respect
the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th
Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work
this morning.
By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen
up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now
smells like Whiskettes and cat ****. I've learned my lesson though: no
more pets in this heat.
October 25
This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant ****in' blow dryer. And
it's hot as hell!
The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200
just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from ****in' Perth.
October 30th
The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the
****in' aircon.
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Bloody $800,000
house and we can't even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4
Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature
down to around
25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 30.
Stupid repairman.
November 8
If one more smart arse says 'Hot enough for you today?', I'm going to
****in' throttle him. ****in' heat! By the time I get to work, the car's
radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking ****in' wet and I smell
like baked cat!
November 9
Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my ****in' arse was on fire.
I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and my
****in' arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked
cat!
November 10
Weather report! It might as well be a ****in' recording. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny, Hot and ****in' sunny! It's been too hot to do anything
for two ****in' months and the weatherman says it might really warm up
next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ****in' place. Water restrictions will
be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the
****in' pool. The only things that thrive in this hell-hole are the
****in' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half
a dozen of the ****ers!
November 20th
Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 ****in' degrees today. Now the air
conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot
enough for you today?' My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment
to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid ****er.
****in' Newman! What kind of sick, demented ****in' idiot would want to
live here!
December 1
WHAT!!!! The first day of Summer!!!! You are ****in' kidding!