YOU MIGHT BE A FREIGHT DOG IF…
- Your aeroplane was getting old when you were born
- You have not done a daylight landing in the past six months
- ATC advises you of smoother air at a different flight level, but you don’t care
- When you taxi up to the FBO they roll out the red carpet, but quickly take it back when they recognize you
- You call the hotel taxi to pick you up, and they don’t understand were you are on the airport
- ATC asks you to
“keep the chickens down” so they can hear you talk
- Your aeroplane has more than 75,000 cycles
- Your company call sign is
“Oil Can”
- The lady in the terminal locks up the popcorn machine because you plan on
“making a meal of it”
- Your aeroplane has more than eight faded logos on it
- You wear the same shirt for a week, and no one complains
- ATC mispronounces your callsign more than three times in one flight
- Your OPS manager mysteriously increases your max take-off weight during the peak season
- You mark every ramp with engine oil
- Everything you own is in your flight bag and suitcase
- You lost your sunglasses a year ago, and haven’t bothered looking for them
- Your aircraft’s cabin is never too cold or too warm, always just right
- You never have to explain to anyone why there is a delay
- You’re the one with the wrinkled shirt because it doubles as your pijamas
- You’re the only one flying against the flow over the North Atlantic
- You have shirts in the laundry on three continents
- Your frequent flyer miles exceed your salary every year
- You can convert Euros to Dollars, Pounds and Yen in your head
- Your dog barks at you when you come home
- 6000 ft, 4nm finals don’t bother you
- You are cleared direct everywhere
- Your first altitude restriction on departure is FL250
- You start to wonder what’s wrong with ATC if you don’t have your landing clearance 50nm from the runway
- The first runway condition report of the day is given by: you
- You have never disembarked from your aircraft onto a airbridge
- You get annoyed if you’re No.2 in traffic
- You haven’t done a hold for so long you can’t remember how it’s done
- When Maverick and Goose get threatened with being thrown out of the Navy to fly
“a cargo plane full of rubber dog!!!!s outta Hong Kong!” you think:
“that’s cool!”
- You have to wake up the Customs & Immigration agents at your destination
- You check into your hotel, and reception asks where the rest of the crew is
- You pick up every VOLMET en route, just to hear someone talk on the radio
- You get out of the cargo business, then realise it’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made
Cheers 