Hi Michael,
I am also 16 and I know what you mean. My advice to you would be to go along with the whole UCAS thing and make it seem like you want to follow the uni path. You don't have to accept a place. It takes a whole lot of pressure off that the college put on you. My college are super-keen on UCAS so I decided the best bet would be just to follow it. I don't understand what you mean about private vs. academy?? I would read the stickies at the top of this page to answer some of your questions. The basic steps would be get a license I guess but that is by no means a passport to any job, unless sponsorsed of course.
Good Luck,
Also, why did you post this in the CTC section?