A few months back I was strolling towards the Security point at Stanstead, contemplating the brain dead idiots who would no doubt be delaying everyone by not checking their bags for sharp implements. I was expecting my bag to be searched because the coils and wires of my headset would no doubt look suspicious on the X-ray machine. No surprise there then " Sorry Sir, but I will have to ask if I can inspect the contents of your bag" - "No problem" says I "Help yourself".
I was a little surpised when having found headset, log book etc. , he had not realised that I was a sound minded professional pilot and carried on delving ever deeper.
Items that I had last seen when doing my fixed wing conversion over a year ago came out - highlighters, felt tips "Oh God, where did I last hide the furry handcuffs and leather thong?" - It was worse than that, my old pussers knife with a four inch razor sharp blade on one side and four inch very sharp spike on the other, last seen three years or more ago.
I turned a colour of scarlet that I would only ever turn if my Mother had caught me purchasing furry handcuffs and a leather thong. The security man was very pleasant about it all and offered me the choice of having him dispose of it or checking my bag back in (no other options, they get too many). I decided on the check in option but when I got back to the desk there were still about 200 pax in the queue. However, W.H. Smith came to the rescue, 1 Jiffy bag and a book of stamps and my knife was on the way home without me.
Sorry to anyone who was in the queue behind me.
TeeS