This is where I took the source from: (Sorry I didn't link it in the original post)
Air To Air Refueling - ARC Air Discussion Forums&
Interestingly I recieved from Amazon today "Drama In The Air" by John Beattie as recommended earlier in the thread, this quotes the drone swinging towards the Victor fuselage and then swinging back and striking the buccaneer cockpit.
So the book doesn't actually mention it striking the Victor, which I agree sounds a little strange.
When my dad mentioned it, he'd said he lost a crew, I read about it on the net, I learned of one ejection, no names/ or number of fatalities I've gradually built a more detailed account, but you've probably got a more accurate first/second hand account than I'll ever get.
Had a very brief chat with my dad this evening, established that he was 55 sqdn