Goblin. Judging by your post count its clear that you are likely be the m/e instructor with more time to troll pprune than actually get out and fly. However I am not going to judge you on your pprune merit as that would be foolish indeed. You clearly have not read any of my posts with much attention as at no time did I say 1% would keep you out of the trees.
Now run along back into the woods where you can from and stop scaring the children.