Hi key seeker
First of all, sorry to hear the sh*t you are in now. Secondly, when i've read your post, i thought: "hey, that's me few years ago" (except the grounding thing). Really i also had to work hard, never got anything as a present, always had to prove my self etc. And yes i really suffered from line training. Straight from single engine prop to jet was pure hell for me. Not to mention the line training capt who was an ex-military.
I don't know the amount of days anymore where i said that i was going to quit the job.
But i've never quit. I always was repeating my sop's, studying and even making exercises on the microsoft flightsim. If you are feeling uncomfortable with a certain line training capt, ask for someone else. This really can make the difference. I flew with captains who really were patient with me, and that gave me a boost of trust, confidence and was feeling confident with the aircraft. It is really, but really important that you show them that you are fighting, working like hell and be very critical for yourself.
Last suggestion: fast dealing with new situations is not easy. Especially when you are new in the job. It all comes with experience. What i did/do, i use(d) a chewing gum, it helps me to canalize the stress
. Try that one.
Don't give up
