My apologies, I may have mis-interpreted your post.
You say that you had an allowance of 160kg rather than that you had used all of it.
What you should do is to learn from the experiencce, and not transfer the blame for your failings (to follow your wife's advice, for example) onto the shoulders of others.
Put yourself in the place of the cabin crew, and this applies not just at QR. They faced with a finite amount of space - if it is full it is full. They may be able to make more efficient use of the space, but they cannot generate more. Yes, frequently the checkin/gate staff, rather than make a scene, let people past with too much, and end up transferring the problem on full flights to the cabin crew. What do you expect them to do? They have to resolve the problem. You have to play the game, not the person. You want 10 more minutes in the bar/shopping, then fine, but accept the attendant risks. Off pier bus-ing stands are a pain for everyone, and it is not as easy to cater for pre-boarding groups (albeit you apparently to ignore common sense anyway).
I think on balance, you need to write this one off to experience, and accept your own part in the outcome, rather than seek to blame anyone else.