For the keyboard you have two choices.
1. Is free. You get a permie marker and write on the keyboard the letters so you know where they are.
2. Is not free. You get a new keyboard from Toshiba, about £60.
As for nipples if you drop me an email with a postal address I will have a word with my lads and get you some in the post. We have various colours and textures available! (and I'm not joking).