A few years back I did some Dispatching at EGSS. Came in late one afternoon for the evening shift and one of our Ramp Leaders, who had the broadest west country accent you can imagine regailed us of his day.....
"Well this morning I was doing the Cyprus, loading instructions said one piece at 100kg in the forward hold. Well with 10 minutes to go no sign of it. Now rules is ain't if, if it's cargo and don't turn up, don't f**king go does it? So we closed up cleared away, pushed back and f**ked off. Five hours later I got called into Boss's office, Andy I gota suspend ya. Party of twenty to Cyprus for a funeral, sandwhiches laid on for 200, no deceased".
So needless to say HUM's became the watchword over the coming weeks. So late one evening as the show was coming to an end most of us sat around the table in the rest room awaiting home time, with just another Cyprus going on in the background. Radio crackles to life
"Cyprus from ops"
"Go ahead"
"Malc, have you loaded that coffin yet?"
"Nooooooo"
"Whatever you do don't load that coffin. I've just had the undertaker on the phone and he thinks there's been a mixup at his end"
I've never laughed so hard with so many other people. I had to pull over on the way home because I coulnd't see where I was going for the tears in my eyes.