In response to IO540, I'm delighted to say that I'm not part of a traditional "old style" marriage, nor is my wife "stuck at home with kids"............well actually she is sometimes. But she does have her own interests and since I stopped doing shift work a couple of years ago we have become fairly good at sharing duties. I reckon the big problem here is one of safety, a fear of something unpleasant happening to me and her having to pick up the pieces, literally. As stated in a previous post I will confront the issue over the weekend ( when life is calmer) and report back.