Aircrew wine assessment:
1. Good white wine = white wine which wasn't made in Cyprus.
2. Good red wine = something you don't need to cut with Sprite at a kebabex.
3. Rosé wine = something someone else once brought to a barbi' (e.g. 'Blush' White Zinfandel from the BX).
4. Champagne = anything fizzy.
5. Good champagne = as above, but which also gets ladies 'in the mood'.
When you've been breathing through a P/Q mask for thousands of hours, swigging Wobbly and eating 5* vindaloos, all this "Virtuous little chap; bold start with mellow, pulchritudinous end notes" is frankly a load of utter bolleaux!